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Welcome to I'm Not Buying That, the blog where we dissect the woeful mistakes of the advertising industry. I'm your host, CJ Garrett, and I view terrible ads so you don't have to.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween fun

Pumpkins and candy and Buffy re-runs, oh my!

All Hallow's Eve has come and gone - or as I like to call it, Annual Reason #36 to Go Out and Get Very, Very Drunk. The hangover has worn off just in time for me to go cruising for more victims - I mean, more adverts of questionable quality.

Commercial holidays tend to bring out the worst in ad agencies, I think. There's the temptation to plaster your product in the seasonal colors and make up some trite, brain-dead message in a vague effort to cash in and get more business, as if people are honestly that dumb.

Okay, I'm sure some of them are, statistically speaking. I've just never met them, and if you're reading this, I think we can assume you're not one of them either. So! Onward, to the main event! (Courtesy of Brand DNA)


Now, personally, I don't like Miller regardless of whether it's Lite, Dark, or Neon Fresco Pink. You can serve cat's piss in a glass tumbler with crushed ice and a complementary selection of fine cigars, but at the end of the day, you're still drinking urine. That doesn't really say anything about Miller, though, apart from maybe suggesting that they shouldn't try to market it to cynical, easily irritated white guys with a taste for vodka and novelty cocktails. Maybe they're aiming for the Twilight crowd... but anyway, this ad is still an exercise in fail, and it must be catalogued in detail!


  • The caption. Oh good grief, the caption. Clich├ęd and grammatically incorrect - two for one special! (For the nerds among us - it should be "Sink your fangs into a/the great taste."
  • Presenting a bottle of beer as a vampire... but the caption implies that the drinker is the vampire. Guh? YOU CONFUSE ME WITH YOUR WORDS.
  • What exactly is that behind the bottle? Is it the gates of heaven? A vortex into the netherworld? An oncoming meteor?
  • There's enough of a breeze to toss the cloak around, but the condensation droplets on the bottle continue to drip straight down. This is what we call a failure to understand the science stuff.


About the nicest thing I could say about this ad is that the illustrator is obviously talented beyond the ken of mortal man. Composition and color are top notch, don'cher'know. Shame about the rest of it.

See, it is possible to do clever beer-related advertising even at Halloween. Brand DNA highlighted another ad in the same vein but with... well, a different impact, shall we say? Here's one from Guinness, who are known for their stellar advertising efforts.


Just look at it for a while, and think Halloween. You'll get the joke.

........

Isn't that awesome?! You'll remember this ad, and you might mention it to your friends because it's clever, and  you'll look on Guinness favourably even if you never touch the stuff, and THAT, kids, is the definition of a successful advertising campaign.

CJ, over and out

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