Welcome to I'm Not Buying That, the blog where we dissect the woeful mistakes of the advertising industry. I'm your host, CJ Garrett, and I view terrible ads so you don't have to.

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Friday, May 13, 2011

Never eating sausages again

I'm not all that picky about what I eat, if I'm being honest here - and on INBT, I'm nothing but 100% honest. Really. No bullshit, hyperbole or anything. Everything I say is the absolute truth, especially that thing about being hunted by the soda goons for figuring out Pepsi's evil master plan.

I don't drink Pepsi, by the way. I do like sausages, though - or at least I did, until I saw this particular gem of an advert. Behold its wince-inducing glory, courtesy of MomGrind:

I've been meaning to write about this one for a while, but I got distracted by some other vintage ads. Don't ask me what any of that crap means - I can speak Sindarin, and I can insult someone's mother in Chinese, but I never learned French. (That is French, right?) I just can't get over the image, though - it just... defies gravity, and physics, and I dunno, common fucking sense when you think about it. It's a pig. And he's dismembering himself with a smile. And his internal anatomy apparently makes no sense whatsoever, being composed of red mush with assorted blue bits.

I can't help but get the idea that it's some kind of cadaver being posed for our horrific amusement, and those blue bits are actually the steel bars that are stopping it from collapsing into a heap of HOLY SHIT I'M SCARING MYSELF. Right. No more of that. Back to happy fun times.

Oh yeah, I'm creeped out now. Damn my overactive imagination! Here's the book I will be reading tonight to help rid my mind of those particular mental images.

CJ, over and out


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