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Welcome to I'm Not Buying That, the blog where we dissect the woeful mistakes of the advertising industry. I'm your host, CJ Garrett, and I view terrible ads so you don't have to.

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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Whoops, I forgot the title! Let's just call it BOOOBS

As you may or may not know, I'm big on boobs. I think the world needs more of them, regardless of the size or shape or color. That said, though, the marketing of boobs and the use of boobs in advertising fills me with the rage of a hungover Genghis Khan, because it's largely the most lazy shit I ever get to see.

I was prepared to be happy that someone was trying to show a little imagination when it comes to boob-related adverts, but it seems I must be disappointed once again. Behold, this image from some design school I've never heard of:


Now, let us take a look at the apparent dichotomy of Wonderbra and a soda cup. One is used to hold up boobs, and the other is used to convey sugary beverages to the masses. Today, they have intersected by way of the suggestion that wearing a Wonderbra means you need a longer straw, or something.

Happily I got this as soon as I saw it, but apparently I'm in the minority there. Ads of the World are split on whether it's crap or not, mostly because a significant number didn't get it at all. That's a bad sign in a potential advert, by the way - like I always say, confusing your customers means less sales.

Still, though, even while I get it, I'm not all that sold on it. I do know some women with large... tracts of land, and they drink their soda like normal people, i.e. extra long straws not required. Let's say, for example, that you have an average sized woman who suddenly puts on a Wonderbra and therefore does not have the experience of having enormous boobs, and may be flustered in her soda-drinking as a result - the ad suggests that she'd be adding at least six inches to her chest size, and although I know boob-related technology has come a long way in recent years, that ain't happening without surgery.

Fuck it, am I over-thinking this? I'd say so. Maybe I'm just annoyed by the lack of any actual women in an ad aimed at women, for a product that only women wear. All I can say about it is at least it isn't as creepy as a lot of other Wonderbra ads.

Today I learned that Amazon sells Wonderbras. They all look vaguely uncomfortable.

CJ, over and out

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