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Welcome to I'm Not Buying That, the blog where we dissect the woeful mistakes of the advertising industry. I'm your host, CJ Garrett, and I view terrible ads so you don't have to.

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

Way back when I wasn't a twisted lump of human garbage, I liked listening to music like the Beatles. I liked how weirdly surreal Octopus' Garden is. Trust me on this, if nothing else - those guys were tripping so hard they probably saw through time and space, and nothing anyone says now can convince me otherwise.

Nowadays, I listen to experimental punk rock bands you've never heard of. And Rammstein, because their music videos are so completely fucking nuts, and I loves me some crazy Germans with leather fetishes.

I was young enough to know about MTV, believe it or not, and I thought it was a total waste of time even when it was the next big thing. These days, they seem to be making a habit of sucking every time they come to my attention, and this ad is no different. Courtesy of Ads of the World, again...


Ah, I see we have a variant of the 'edgy and controversial' advert style - it's the 'if you don't get it, you're stupid' method of marketing! So, I believe an explanation is in order once again.

First of all, that grid thing you see there is supposed to be a guitar fretboard, and it's usually used in guitar tabs. This is a sort of simplified way of teaching someone who knows fuck all about actual music, and it's been around for hundreds of years. Read the Wikipedia article if you're that curious. Now, the two little pictures there represent 'yellow' and 'submarine' in a nod to the Beatles' song of the same name. These two things together are supposed to be an in-joke, I assume, from the tagline of 'If you know music, you know MTV' - ergo you will recognize the two elements and go 'HEY I KNOW THAT I AM SMART!'

Perhaps this might have worked back in the day, but right now, MTV is known for shallow, shitty reality TV shows rather than actual music. The people who (a) know the Beatles, (b) can figure out those two teeny little pictures represent the name of a song, and (c) know what guitar tabs look like are already getting their music elsewhere in true, aging hipster fashion. The young, two-second-attention-span demographic who may or may not still watch MTV either won't get this at all or won't even look because it's bland.

Yeah, you can't get away from that either. I'm not sure when beige became an acceptable background choice for adverts in general but I do NOT approve, I will have you know, when it results in this mediocre shit.

It's a bit of a shame, when you think of how completely batcrap crazy so much of the Beatles stuff is. I mean, come on - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Those outfits were fabulous.

CJ, over and out

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